Rebecca, I just wanted to share my story to assure you that what you do is absolutely amazing. I truly feel like you showed me the way to not only survive but also to do it all over again, just better this time around…

I met the man I used to call my husband when I was nineteen years old and we got married three months after. People always thought we were a perfect couple and I thought so as well for almost thirteen years. We had two beautiful kids, great jobs, a beautiful house, and I thought a wonderful life ahead. God had different plans…

He was always controlling, but it worked because I seemed to like being controlled. However, some time after our son was born he became slowly more and more controlling, insecure and less respectful. I knew something was wrong, but I was not really realizing what was happening. Things got even worse when our daughter was born. While looking for answers he started exploring spirituality. Lots of bad advice, wrong attitude, problems at work, and many disappointments led him to deepening his depression, paranoia, and mental illness. That, in turn, led him to lots of emotional and some physical abuse towards me. I did not know what to do; my family was on the other side of the world, I was cut off from friends, and I was led to believe everyone around me, even my family (including my deceased loved ones), were my enemy. I know I had to do something to protect my babies, but by the time I finally realized that he completely lost his mind, it was too late. I thought all I had left was to call the police and I did. He was not too pleased. He started hitting me really bad, so I ran outside with my daughter in my arms. My son was just a few feet away from me, when he grabbed him and closed the garage. That was the last time I saw my son alive.

The man who was my rock, whom I trusted my life, heart, and soul (yes I know he was a wrong choice) took away everything I had, and with that the most precious gift I ever got from God – by beautiful boy. I was in the darkness for a couple of days; could not pray or eat; I did not want to live. But, with time, I found comfort talking to my son and God. I prayed a lot and it helped.

While living in this darkness, I also lost the ability to live in my house, and everything in it. When my neighbors, who were taking care of clearing my house to put it for sale, asked me what I wanted from inside the house, I said nothing, except for the toys. They took it all, literally,  even my perfumes and cosmetics went to Goodwill. I don’t blame them, there was a lot of stuff and I was not there to help at all. I even lost my son’s toys. That was like getting my heart broken once again; I just could not understand why someone, who could afford almost a million dollar house, would just take my boy’s toys. I got them back eventually, but I almost lost my mind over just this. I know toys are just toys, but when you lose a child they become little treasures. Adding to that, my status as a wife was not certain, even though we were married for 13 years, because he did not dissolve his previous marriage! I also felt very guilty; rethinking over and over again how else I could have handled things…

Prayers, talking to my son, and a therapist did help me, and kept me alive, but I felt lost and like there was something missing. There is a lot of to this, but long story short, I did not understand spirituality and many other things as well. A friend suggested going to a medium, but I was not sure if that was a good idea. I prayed to get the answer and then I “heard” the words, “Dr. Oz Medium…” So I went online using those keywords and a couple of Mediums came up but nothing felt right. Then I remembered watching you on Dr. Oz!

I went to your website and all of a sudden it all made sense. Your explanation of afterlife was like a revelation, finding home. When I started reading “Spirited,” I felt like someone was offering me a chance to live again, just this time in a different, more beautiful and fulfilling way. Your amazing attitude, explanation and guidance helped me laugh and feel joy again, gave me hope and strengthened my faith.  I was able to understand many things, and, by that, let go of guilt, fear and so many other things. As you can only imagine I replayed the moment when my ex closed the garage door so many times in my mind. I imagined reaching for my son before my ex did a million times. The guilt I felt was unimaginable. I was not able to protect my baby… But reading in your book that we all choose our own time to leave this world, and later finding out that he choose to be here for no longer than 4 years was like a huge band-aid for a wounded heart.

In December, roughly half a year after it all happened, I went to my last therapy session, and even before I said something, my therapist already knew, I do not need her help anymore. Yes, my heart will always long for my beautiful son but knowing he is with me and that his life and death all had a purpose really helps. Looking back does not serve me either, even though sometimes I want to.

Now I hope I can find a way to help others. I so desperately want to, but still do not know how. I know I can help and I want to be a light for other parents, I just do not know when, where, and how, but I trust I will find the answer. I also hope I can be an inspiration for parents who lost children. I want them to understand that you can come out from the deepest hole if you just get motivated. My motivation was the love for my son and daughter. I also want parents to understand that burring in grief and sadness does not help anyone; neither them nor their lost child. I want to show them that it is possible to live, laugh and be joyful again. If I could get out of that darkness, others can too…

I attended your reading in Los Angeles. I wanted to tell you so badly how much you have helped me recover from all those losses and trauma, but my voice is still something I need to find. Thank you for the work you do. Thank you for bringing light, healing, and hope to my life and the lives of others. I think you have an amazing gift and I wish you could multiply yourself to be able to reach more here on Earth who need your help.

I look forward to your next book and wish you the best of luck with everything!
I hope your life will be filled with love, light and blessing only!

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