Throughout my summer meditations, I’ve focused on asking my guides and my Departed Loved Ones to help me clean up any lingering messiness in my life. I’ve asked them to release anything that is keeping me from being my highest and best self. I’ve asked them to help me to clear old patterns and bad habits, and I’ve set the intention to let go of any toxic energy that is draining me so that I can move into my new birth year with full integrity.
Well, be careful what you pray for. The story I’m about to share with you shows that sometimes, in order to clean up your own mess, you have to get really dirty first.
The Ego Mind
I was having drinks with a girlfriend when after the first glass of wine, the conversation turned catty. As women sometimes do, we started dishing on a mutual friend we were on the “outs” with. Our chatter was small-minded and mean and we carried on this way, like two gossip girls, until the end of the evening. As if we hadn’t said enough, the very next day I texted my girlfriend with even more gossip. Just as I hit send, I realized I’d accidentally sent it to the wrong person. Worse yet, I’d sent it to the friend we’d been babbling about!
People are often surprised when they realize that I am human just like everyone else and make some really dumb mistakes. Of course, I wish that I were above all the Earthly pit-falls but I’m not immune. Anyway, what spirits have communicated to me for two decades is that every mistake is a disguised opportunity to heal, forgive, and learn to be a better human. Thank God.
After I realized the huge mess I’d created for myself, what did I do? I panicked. I rattled off a few expletives. I paced. And then, I swallowed my shame and owned it. I called her to apologize. As the phone rang, I thought of an Eleanor Roosevelt quote that perfectly fit this moment, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” That’s exactly what I’d done—I’d slipped into my small, ego mind.
When she didn’t answer, I sent her the following text: I’m sorry. I’m so disappointed with myself for hurting you and your feelings. I hope you can forgive me.
You Get What You Need
As uncomfortable as this situation was, I realized that my “accident” was exactly what I’d been asking for. Hadn’t I’d asked my guides, specifically, to help me to clean up any messiness in my life? Now that I was standing in a big mess of my own creation, I recognized that this text was the catalyst I needed to break a bad habit of talking about others and to clean up my friendships. It’s really true—you don’t always get what you want, you get what you need. While this particular friendship still needs some TLC, it’s in a better place than it was because I pulled myself out of my low mind and onto higher ground. For several days after the text, I repeated the following affirmation: I am willing to release any negativity toward myself and others right now. Once I released the negative thinking that was no longer serving me or my friend, compassion and gratitude took its place. In this lifetime, much of our work is simply to clean up one mess at a time.
Is there any mess in my life that needs cleaning up? Are there any old patterns or habits that are no longer serving me? Pray to your guides: help me to release anything that’s draining, pulling on me and keeping me from being my highest and best self.
Want More Inspiration and Insight?
In my latest book, What The Dead Have Taught Me About Living Well, I share more about how to make the mental shift from hurt to free. If you have a story about releasing hurtful patterns or negative thinking, I invite you to share it in the comments below. And if you feel guided to share my story with a friend or loved one who may be served by this message, please pass it along!