When you know what you don’t want, you can become super clear on what you do want. In the contrast lies clarity. What I’ve learned from the Other Side is that an undesirable situation is often a karmic opportunity to choose again and choose differently, bringing us into greater alignment with our soul’s truth.

When you know what you don’t want, you can become super clear on what you do want. In the contrast lies clarity. Click To Tweet

Mommy Limit

Let me give you a personal example where my discomfort forced a deeper awakening within… The other day I found myself cleaning up after my six kids. From backpacks to shoes left in the middle of the floor to dirty dishes on the kitchen counter and toys scattered around the living room, the house was a mess! And as I cleaned up my kids’ bad (and disrespectful) habits, I became more and more irritated.

Finally, I hit my limit and, in that minute, I became so clear on what was really bugging me. I was sick and tired of acting as their maid and even more importantly, I realized how much resentment I was building up and carrying because I hadn’t addressed the mess head on. In many ways, their mess was more about taking accountability for my own.

Your Mess is Mine

I took a mommy timeout. I prayed and meditated and gained, even more, clarity: it was time to set clear boundaries and expectations. This is my part of the deal. So, I mustered up the courage to address the kids. I  gave them one final warning followed by non-negotiable consequences if they fail to honor my request. It felt a little harsh, but c’mon, it was about time! And to validate that I’d taken the right action, I instantly felt better. I’d finally spoken my truth and by doing so, I was able to shift out of resentment and into a hopeful and lighter space. I went from cursing the situation to feeling thankful for the clarity it had given me. Instead of reverting back to my old pattern of begrudgingly picking up after the kids and choosing differently this time, I’d effectively cleaned up the mess!

Spirits constantly remind me that everything that happens in our lives is an opportunity to learn. So the next time the Universe dishes up an unfavorable or uncomfortable situation, ask God and your Guides to help you see it as a gift. Remember: in the contrast lies clarity. Ask yourself, how can this experience help me become crystal clear about what I really want? When you speak your wants, desires, and truth, you begin to create the change you want and need in your life.

Spirits constantly remind me that everything that happens in our lives is an opportunity to learn. Click To Tweet

In my latest book What the Dead Have Taught Me About Living Well I share with you the lifelong struggle, I’ve had with voicing my truth and asking for what I want and deserve. It can be scary, but as I discovered– so empowering!

I’d love to hear about a time when you turned a “mess” into an opportunity to get more of what you want in your life. I welcome you to share your story in the comments section below.


  1. Oh my goodness! I experienced this exact same situation just yesterday Rebecca so thank you for sharing yours. I actually was exhausted after a very busy two days so really I had to rest but the picking up of kids stuff- spot on!
    I too lectured my kids and even though felt a little guilty, glad I did it. Guess we have to speak our minds to get what we want– even to the spirit world. I know also how it feels so empowering speaking up for myself in other situations and all we need to do is ask for guidance and in one way or another we will receive in abundance.
    You are a gem and much gratitude to you for everything Rebecca!!!! Thank you..,

    Kathy Pickett on
  2. This has actually happened with me and my job recently! For two years things at work have been going in a different direction than where I wanted. I wasn’t happy, was constantly in a negative state as I drove in to work and it ultimately started reflecting in my life at home. In an effort to get out of my rut, I started “throwing stones” trying to figure out what I wanted to do, what I should change and what I should do with my career next. Then, I finally figured it out! Up until two years ago, I had been true to my soul’s purpose. When my job changed, it sent me into a type of depression that I didn’t understand. I felt out of sync. It took a couple of readings, an energy healing, and most importantly a lot of looking at myself to figure out that I needed to go back to doing what I was doing before, or I needed to find a different employer who would allow me to do that job. Light bulb!! So I presented my argument during my next employee review to my employer, knowing I might not get what I wanted, but that was speaking my truth. While things aren’t quite, yet, where I want them to be, I feel lighter, better and more positive about the whole situation! I’m terrible about stepping into my power as well. But the scariness leading up to it was worth how I feel, now, after I did.

    Rebekah Murray on
  3. Yikes! I’m still reeling from the shock you have 6 kids, look well put together and aren’t stark raving mad.
    Mazel tov for that alone!

    Robin on
  4. Rebecca, I was a single mom for many years and I operated my tax and financial business from my home office. When my two boys were 8 and 10 years old I had a talk with them and explained that I can’t do it all. We are a team and we all have to contribute. I bought a children’s cookbook with easy recipes that were cute (like the hamburgers would be decorated with smiley faces of pimento and olives, fun shapes for pancakes etc) and told the boys that we would each be responsible for 2 dinners during the week and then we would go out one night a week to practice our restaurant manners and have a treat. They could choose any foods they wanted and make me a list of groceries that they needed. I would buy and they would cook and clean up. If they wanted to make enough for 2 dinners and have left overs for their second night that was ok too. Now my boys are 43 and 45 years old. One of them is truly a gormet cook as a hobby and is so thankful for that start so many years ago. I also taught them to sort their laundry (whites vs colors) and do that each week too. It was very helpful for me and great lessons for them. They had some chores that they had to do just because we all needed to pitch in, and then they could choose other chores if they wanted to earn extra money. The teamwork was great! Lots of challenges but God helped me every day!

    Sally on
  5. Hi Rebecca: Always a treat to read your words. You don’t say how old the six children are, but I do know that kids need & want some limits & expectations from their parents.
    So I think it’s a win-win for all of you when you set reasonable boundaries & stick to them!

    Happy Mother’s Day to you,

    Ann on
  6. Rebecca, Yes, I do feel as though the spirits are ALWAYS talking to me , and trying to teach me to go into the right direction . Sometimes I guess it’s a matter of getting hurt and hit on the head before I realize what’s good for me. Stubborn human sometimes I am. Once I remember to completely tear down my human walls,,, all falls into place , and very easily in fact. I receive many signs, and just to allow my intuition take over, listen carefully, and go with it would help tremendously, and alleviate the pain. I guess God wants us to feel the pain/hurt to grow. Thank you so much for sharing your gift from God, I appreciate it, and also all of which you have confirmed. I love all of your books!!!!!

    Arlene on
  7. I recently quit my job after negative feelings started creeping in and affected my work and home life. I’ve been able to keep the negativity at bay for about 3 years, but in the last 6-9 months everything came into focus. I knew I had to get out of there. I tried to hold it together while I looked for another job, but I couldn’t so I gave my notice and walked out 2 weeks later.
    The weight lifted, and I found another job (which I haven’t started yet). I was able to take some much needed R&R and start my new position next week.
    Life has a new purpose and I have regained my smile.

    Theresa on

Leave a Comment